Me…A problem with food? – Guest writer Lilias Martin

lilI’m delighted to welcome Lilias Martin to my blog. I am so pleased she took the time to let me know she’d made a successful change to her life. So over to Lilias and her I CAN story…

I don’t have a food issue. I mean, it’s not like I hate food. Mind you, I’m not sure I really like it.

I don’t have a food issue. I mean, it’s not like I starve myself. Mind you, I do forget to eat.

I don’t have a food issue. I mean, it’s not like I’m seriously over or under-weight. Mind you, my parents were called into school to discuss whether I was anorexic.

I don’t have a food issue. I mean, it’s not as if I don’t put a meal on the table every night. Mind you a trip to the local supermarket kills me and if anyone offers to do it for me, I’ll bite their hand off.

So at the ripe old age of 40+, I’m just beginning to recognise that perhaps I might just have a little bit of an issue with food. There was no light bulb moment, but, having connected with Jayne on Twitter, her blogs began a slow awakening as they spurred me to examine my eating habits.

From the year dot, eating had never been high on my agenda – I just wasn’t interested. Coming from a food-loving family, whether this was due to some long-forgotten incident or to a rogue gene, remains a mystery, but nevertheless, a glaring reality.

I say food was never on my agenda, but as I sit back and think about it, perhaps this is too simplistic a view. It has become clear to me that with every major event in my life, has come a change in my eating habits.

The first event that sticks clearly in my mind was the heart-wrenching death of my guinea-pig, Grang. Yes, I know we’ve all experienced the death of a dearly-loved pet, but how many of us have consequently turned vegetarian? I was 13 years old and Grang had been left in my charge by my best friend as she set sail for a new life in Australia. So you can imagine the myriad of emotions I went through as, one morning, I discovered Grang had been gobbled up by a greedy fox. From that day forward, I didn’t touch a morsel of meat – well for five years anyway. Mum, having battled through every meal with me in a vain attempt to achieve a clean plate, was now faced with a hormonal and vegetarian teenager, who didn’t like vegetables!

I’m not sure that there was a major event that turned me back to meat at the age of 18. Perhaps it was the perceived ‘benefits’ of a Big Mac or that I could no longer resist the tantalising aroma of mum’s Sunday roast.

Meat may have been back on the menu, but food remained a very low priority. Who needs it, when there’s all the new delights of uni to discover and who has time for it as a young 20-something leading the London fast life?

Cue husband-to-be and a rediscovery of delicious home-cooked food. Yes, my husband is a foodie. He loves the stuff. Not just eating it, but cooking it, experimenting with it and even shopping for it. Well, they do say opposites attract. Finally, I can eat and it’s no effort at all. But the old habits are ingrained and, as soon as David is away, back they come. Thankfully, he is rarely gone for long and so, for the most part, my dietary requirements are met.

Then along comes baby Sam, and suddenly food becomes paramount. Not for me, of course, I’ve proved quite conclusively that I can do without it, but, oh no, not my baby boy. So armed with my Gina Ford bible, I surround myself with ice-cube trays, sweet potatoes, broccoli and all other vegetables – organic of course – and so the weaning process begins. Unlike his mother, thankfully Sam quite enjoys his food; that is until he discovers its amazing powers to control mum. He doesn’t need to speak to tell me, “If you don’t put the telly on, I won’t eat.”

Two years on, I find myself sat in front of the offending square box, baby Sophie and bottle in one arm and a spoonful of food in the other as I pander to Sam’s ‘need’ to be spoon-fed in front of CBeebies. I would give any contortionist a run for his money to make sure my kids get their daily intake of nutrients.

Sam is 9 now and Sophie 7 and I’m glad to say that we all sit down at the table for a meal nowadays. But Sophie continues to confound and infuriate me with her lack of interest in food. Perhaps it is that rogue gene after all; Sophie’s not fussy, she’s just not interested. Perhaps it’s time to apologise to mum for all the heartache I must have caused her!

This journey back in time has made me realise how much food has been part of my life, despite my efforts to ignore it. My experience with Sam and Sophie has made me realise that for as long as I may have denied it, I obviously do see food as a very important part of life. Not just the obvious need to fuel the body, but also the hinging role it plays in bringing us all together at the end of the day.

My bad habits may have been around for a long time, but that doesn’t mean I can’t change them if I make a conscious decision to do so. I am proud to say that I am now in my sixth week of eating breakfast every day; something I haven’t done since mum quite literally had to force it down my neck. OK, so the first week was a real struggle and I can’t deny that each mouthful felt like dry pebbles grating down my throat. But, today, I actually enjoy taking the time to sit down and eat with the kids each morning. The difference is that this was my decision and not due to the influence of another force. Breakfast is mine to own.

Lilias

Lilias can be found on Twitter and here on her website. She’s made a fabulous change AND this change will benefit her children too! Little eyes often think that grown ups don’t eat breakfast, imagine the difference this makes to their future.

Success is all yours Lilias so enjoy it and say hello to your I CAN Attitude!

Jayne x

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I CAN…Share

It’s centenary RHS Chelsea time here in the UK, a time to embrace all that nature has beautifully created and an opportunity to celebrate the talents of garden designers who’s time and expertise is being showcased for all to see. Everyone is a winner in my eyes, yes every garden a gold.

Often gardens tell stories and for many, like me, they connect to our souls in some way.  So it was with sheer delight that award winning garden designer Chris Beardshaw is telling his story of living with Arthritis, through his garden designed for Arthritis Research UK

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It’s a story he’s not spoken of openly before. He realised sharing his story and saying I CAN will in turn help another. This is a story of hope and proof positive of what’s possible for all of us. This is a very personal and I imagine emotional journey for him and I  hope this story *wins best in show this year. *Update he won a gold!

Are you ready to say I CAN Share?

Jayne x

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Introducing WOW Woman-Lisa M Settle

Lisa is a super positive woman, her smile lights up the room and you I’ve chosen Lisa for this months story because she is 50 today! Not only is she 50 today but she has been chomping at the bit to reach this milestone. Just like me she’s not anti-ageing at all she loves it!

So I am going to let Lisa tell you a bit more about herself and why she loves her years and her big birthday plans to celebrate!

Over to my friend Lisa and her WOW Woman story…

Why is this birthday so special to you?

SAMSUNG DIGITAL CAMERAFirstly, thank you so much Jayne, I really appreciate your kind words and constant support, you have become a great friend, and I hope that will remain the case.  I am most honoured to be included in your WOW Woman section. 

I think it’s a fantastic milestone and  see it as the beginning of a new era. To be honest I have been around the block with the whole age thing. I was desperate to be 18, longed to be 21 but by 22 I was referring to myself as old, and by the time I hit 26 I was regularly lying about my age.  The approach to 30 was terrifying but thankfully by 40 I realised how ridiculous I’d been, so I calmed down and just got on with it and have been having a ball ever since.  I am feeling super excited to be 50.  I am healthy, happy and loving my years.

 What gifts has age given you?

That is one of the wonderful things about age, the many gifts it brings with it. Each new experience comes with a lesson, that’s why I love looking for new opportunities, and new friends.  There is still so much to learn and to share.  My major break through was learning to be more tolerant and accepting.  Changing your philosophy really can change your life.

 You have a very important event due to take place later in the year and it involves walking. Do tell us more and about the great cause and why.

  In September David and I will be heading for Settle in Yorkshire (all rather apt don’t you think) in order to climb the Yorkshire 3 peaks.  Pen-Y-Ghent, Ingleborough and Whernside.  It’s not an extreme event such as a marathon or a bungee jump from a great height but for me it is a major challenge. We will be climbing all three peaks in 12 hours. Gulp!  The trip is to raise money and awareness of JDRF.( Juvenile Diabetes Research Fund) . The charity continually research to improve lives for those with type 1 as well as a cure  My son was diagnosed  nearly 12 years ago.  It was a shock to us all. I didn’t know much about Diabetes then, I knew one type was managed by diet and the other was dependent upon insulin injections. Of course I was hoping Josh had the former rather than the latter but alas that wasn’t to be the case. It took us some time to get used all the injections, balancing Josh’s glucose levels and avoiding hypos and hypers along the way.  Josh now injects 4 times a day and I am proud to say that he manages very well.  It is my dream however for him and many others to be injection free.

 I know how precious family are to you, how do you juggle your business and family and find balance?

SAMSUNG DIGITAL CAMERAYes my family is my most precious possession.  I am so fortunate to have a loving family around me, family and close friends really are my life support system.

Keeping a balance can be a challenge at times but it must always stay at the top of the agenda in order to keep everyone happy. Focusing on the family as a whole is key. David and I are very involved in the boys lives and we work well as a team.  We often run through the week in advance, assessing who is doing what and pin pointing who needs extra support on that day. Organisation is my middle name, where would I be without a list!  Running our own business can be very demanding but as we both enjoy our jobs the stress is kept to a minimum. When things get tough, my default mode is to sit back and look at the bigger picture, it always puts things into perspective.

 You seem very visible Lisa, can you share with us why age is just numbers for you?

When my dad was in his early 60′s I recall him saying to me that he still felt as if he was in his 30′s. At the time I just smiled but now I know exactly what he meant. The outer vessel is ageing but inside we aren’t any different.  I have reached a point where I am comfortable and grateful for the container I’m in, age is irrelevant, I plan to keep moving, and live a meaningful life, and stay young at heart.

 What are your hopes and dreams for the next 10 years?

lisa and groupI’ve got a feeling that the next 10 years are going to be very fulfilling.  I have a passion for helping young people into the workplace and my volunteering in this area has already stepped up a notch. I do a lot of work with a local organisation that brings together education and businesses. I love giving back in this way so I foresee more involvement here. 

I am also a bit of a customer service geek. Great service has always been at the heart of our business and I’m constantly looking at ways to improve it.  I love hearing from customers saying how well they’ve been treated by our team. We have won awards for customer satisfaction so I know we are doing a good job but there’s no finish line, so a lot of my time will be spent working in this area, I think it’s one of the reasons I’m here.

Of course I hope that family life will continue to be as wonderful as it is now. There is talk about a book project with my mum, I’m hoping that will get off the ground, she has a great story to tell. My boys are becoming more independent by the day and David and I find ourselves doing more as a couple.  I’m definitely ready for this chapter and look forward to spending time with him exploring our hobbies.  Maybe just maybe this next decade might include grandchildren! Ssh who said that!

Lisa you’re WOW indeed and thank you for all that you do for others and for our friendship. I’ll never forget our meeting on Twitter and how you became an integral part of #thebreakfastclub on Monday and Friday mornings 6.45-745am.

With love and happy 50th!

Jayne x

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